Yesterday was difficult for mi to go to lala-land... tried to turn in at half past twelve, in the end couldn't sleep until two plus. The light in my room was lit on, the entire house was in total silence. As i couldn't sleep.. i sat down and penned down something.. things that floated in my mind. The feeling is terrible, anger mixed with sorrow. Reflection was done yesterday as well.I kept asking myself why can't i gain trust of others... be it you or my parents.. to their eyes i'm so not trustworthy.. an unreliable girl.

How true...my life has many ups and downs..i have been bottling up all the sad things happened in the past 16 years and to others, i may seem to be a cheerful girl..always wear a smile in front of others.. no one just know my inner self and care about me. Do you know the feeling of being ostracised by the entire class...? Have you been kept in the dark by others.. while people backstabbing you..? At my lowest point of time, who do i turn to..? NO ONE.

I'm just slipping off the edge, hanging by a thread..

Friends just come and go.. i don't have close friends.do i? i am always alone-all on my own. what did i do wrong? I am alone again trying to survive in upcoming poly life. It's okay. really okay...

I thought i would stand strong..but it was just a lie to myself.

I am hurt and don't want to get hurt again..yet it's impossible. A person that is full of scars in his/her heart, will always hesitate to move on.Each step he/she makes is important,because this person will never want to get hurt if make the wrong move.

Finally, i brokedown. I couldn't stand it anymore! so tired of my life.. rahhsss..! Yes i'm EMO if you don't know. i'll just keep hiding... as no one understands at all.



Loser of trust..i admit defeat.